Half of my Heart
by screamxatxme17
Summary: Raven is struggling to help her younger sister comprehend her powers and learn to use them. The problem is, Libby has always had a thing for the Bad-Guys. Rated T just in case!
1. Birthday Appearances

She had never been one to run away or hide from anything. She could tame a lion, face any challenge, with the utmost of courage. She'd always embraced life's changes, no matter how hard, and remained optimistic.

I saw her grow up; Arella had told me to watch her. I wished I could be there with her, tell her the truth, and give her a normal life. She looked a lot like me. She had dark hair, dark eyes, and light skin. I saw her powers when she didn't. Her (fake) mother made up excuses for shattered toasters, out of control blenders, and cracked Plasma-Screen TVs. Libby had never expected that she was different than anyone else.

Libby was only two years younger than me. Sometimes, when she was scared or angry, we had a connection that none of my books or teachings let me understand. "It's family, Rae." Beast Boy had explained. You love them no matter what they do, and sometimes, you know exactly how they feel.

I even made an IM account, with her as my only buddy, to make sure she was always safe. When her away message was sad, I could do nothing but wish I were there to comfort her. It hurt me to see her so broken, something a sister should be able to repair, but I was gone. Libby didn't even know I existed.

I glanced at the clock. It was almost time for Libby's full powers to set in. On her fourteenth birthday, Libby would start having powers nearly exactly like mine- with one catch- Libby's powers might not be activated by emotions. I was going to have to take Libby away that day; Her fake mother, just a guardian, had been informed on the plan all along.

But I remembered all the times I'd spied on them and seen beautiful real family moments. That was something I might not be able to give to Libby. She might not see me as a sister, but as a liar, a fake, and someone who had abandoned her. But in truth, that wasn't how it happened. On my second birthday, the year Libby was born, something went horribly wrong. Instead of my full powers coming at fourteen, they set in at two because Trigon had gone to see Fate who told him that his only hope at the destruction of Earth was to have me there early, to live there. I'd never met my baby sister, but if she met me now, what would she think?

I didn't have to wait long to answer that question. I stepped out of my room, just about to go to take Libby, when the Tower's doorbell rang. I teleported down to the door and peeked out behind it. _I didn't even know we had a doorbell. Besides, who'd ring a super-hero's door?_ "Hi… Raven?" a familiar voice rang out from behind the steel. "Libby…?"

Libby had decided that the Tower was the best place to come after discovering her Powers. "They're sort of like yours." Libby explained. "But they aren't controlled by my emotions- they're controlled by the emotions of people around me." Raven sighed, that would be a hard one to control. "And… I can control other people's emotions." Raven smiled. This would be easier to control.

_'Raven' _Libby put her voice in Raven's mind, something she didn't know she could do before this. '_How did you know my name?'_


	2. Gashes in My Walls

Libby's blue eyes were watery and glazed over. The bags under her eyes were as black as night. I ignored her question. "Libby, how did you get your powers?" She looked like she was going to cry. "I didn't know that I had them… at first." She cried out. "I didn't mean to kill her. I didn't want to, Raven. She was the closest thing I'll ever have to family." I couldn't muster up the appropriate reaction. I stood there, gaping. Libby's powers had killed her mother. How had she done it?

"What did you do, Libby?" I asked, terrified at the thought of my little sister getting in trouble only because she was **like me**. "My powers… they were out of control. I walked into the kitchen. I must have done something, because my Mother was angry. When people are angry, so are my powers." I nodded, knowing how she felt. "It threw things at her, punched her, went inside her mind and drove her crazy. If she were still alive, there would be no hope for her. Either way, my powers would have taken away from her something she couldn't get back. I think I'm evil." Libby sighed. She had so much grief and pain in her that I wanted to die. How could I explain to Libby that the person she killed, and had grown to love, wasn't even her real mother?

"Libby, you aren't a monster. Not one of us could control our powers at first. Everyone here has lost someone, or something. Robin, Star, Cy, they all blame themselves for what happened to their families, even if it was never their fault. "None of them killed some one. None of their families were hurt solely because of them." Libby screamed. She held her head with her hands on her ears like she was trying to stop all of the sounds from coming into her head. She thrashed about. "Libby!" I screamed, prying one of her hands from her ears. "Listen! I'll help you control your powers. She wasn't even your mother." I started out loud, with a decrescendo as I came to the part where half of my mind yelled to lie, and the other half screamed burn in hell.

"What?" Libby became calm. It was only then, when it came to a stop, that I realized the walls had been oozing blood and spinning and tossing us around. Libby's powers were bent on destruction. I was the only other person in the room. I had been doing that to her. "You're… my sister, Libby. You're a half demon. That's why you have powers. That's why… you have to stay here, with the Titans." I spoke clearly, annunciating every word, because somewhere, it seemed unreal. I spoke so I could understand the words coming out of my mouth. My words began to shake, and I cried. The walls shook with my weeps, and began to throw Libby around, shaking her, trying to hurt her. My powers, with my out of control emotions, began to explode chunks of wall, and turning into a black tornado, I began to get control. "Help. Libby, use your powers and make me calm again!" I screamed over the sound of thunder so she could hear me.

Every inch of energy from Libby was being drained. Her face got paler as she closed her eyes and took all of my emotions out of me. I was so confused. One minute the room was thrashing, the next Libby knew about her parents, and then I'd caused part of the tower, maybe even some of the city, to be destroyed. I would have felt bad, but I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything at all. Libby looked like she was trying to keep a wild bear from ripping out of her head. Her chakra, the only difference between us being her empty forehead, began to explode out of her skin. It was shaped like an oval, and was a dark, bloody, red. It glowed with her eyes as the color of gashes and she screamed and yelped in pain. She clawed at her ribs with her broken, nervously bitten nails. I thought Libby was going to die.

I closed my eyes. I'd done so much to protect her, but she was still being torn to bits by the one thing I couldn't control anymore, myself. "Let me feel again. Please Libby." Libby's eyes started to fade and the very pale original color of her face poured into her cheeks. I chanted my mantra to make sure I remained calm. Libby opened her eyes like she had just drowned. The veins were broken and irritated, making the usually white area of her eyes look pink and swollen. I felt horrible- No. I felt nothing. I wouldn't let myself to that to her again.

"We have to see Arella." I said. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Maybe my mother, the one who had sent this poor child away from her home planet only so that she would not be responsible for any killing would know how to control Libby's powers. Perhaps Arella knew all along that Libby was dangerous, and that all along Libby could not be controlled. Arella might have put a curse among Earth, but I was bringing it back to her. "My…" Libby started, confused about the sudden reaction to the danger. "Mother." I finished blankly. "We have to go now. You just gave me a few questions I need answers for. And Arella is going to have to pay for what she's done to you." I continued. I didn't know what I was saying before I heard it. My Mother didn't have any powers, it wouldn't be fair to hurt her, or to blame her for what happened to Libby's mother.

"Raven." Libby said. "You're wrong. We need to see Trigon."


	3. Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Dark?

Libby

_Libby_. Libby. Libby. **Libby.**

My head ached. My entire face was coated in scars and fresh cuts, but neither Libby nor I were dead; and wasn't that success in talking to an abusive, over powered, multi-dimensional nearly Satan demon? I looked at Libby. She was unharmed, maybe even healthier. _'My gift.'_ Father had called her. She caught me staring and gave me a death-glare. She must have picked up on the habit from me, who, after stabilizing my emotions, had lost my friendly, nearly human, self had become the half demon I was once again. I looked away, but only for a second. I found myself looking at the cracked, off-white, skull without a jaw that slept in Libby's lap. I hadn't spoke to Libby since Trigon had given it to her. The only thing Trigon had given to me was an eternity of hell, for I was sentenced to living on Earth for as long as Earth was still in tact. Libby was nearly asleep. She muttered something about a bad-vibe as the canoe we were in (sailing across hot lava… I did forget to mention the part about us still being in Hell) began to rock. I stopped thinking my unhappy thoughts, trying to imagine us back home. The boat slowly stopped rocking and picked up speed, Libby unable to control my emotions because now she was fast asleep. Her powers could do us good if she was always asleep, because the boat was ten feet in the air, soaring over the lava that had generated steam and scalded my face. I looked down, and imagined falling into it. It was then that I noticed I wasn't imagining.

Libby had woken up, and her powers, which seemed to have a mind of its own, was surprised and let go of the canoe. The giant blood-red wave of energy had gone away, leaving us to splash into the heat. I used my powers for once, lifting the canoe up again. Libby looked scared. "It's… dark in here." She managed to stutter, shivering and rolling about nervously. I almost laughed, and then remembered that in the state Libby was in there was no way that she would be able to control my emotions, or her powers. I had forgotten that even the Titans, even Dr. Light were afraid of the endless dark my powers brought about. Instead of the bubble we were in, which didn't allow vision, I made a platform at the bottom of the canoe. "What was that?" Libby didn't understand that it was my powers, not some work of the devil. "Just me." I told her calmly. Libby was still holding onto the canoe with all of her might. "Maybe your powers could do it." I told her. "Practice?" she asked. "I'll put my platform below the boat, just incase you mess up." Libby concentrated her energy, and I could see her eyes turn red. I began to feel happy, uncontrollably happy. The boat rose in a cloud of red smoke and my black platform disappeared. The smoke became wind, cool and sharp, and kind of like a cloud. Libby was smiling too. Her eyes were now less red, but her pupils were the color of blood. Making people happy when they weren't drastic didn't seem to take such a toll on her, but I knew that because she was just learning to use her powers she might be exhausted at anytime. Her eyes began to get red again, a sign that she was having a hard time stabilizing someone's emotions, I realized. The smoke began to get lighter, and I used my powers to make another platform. The canoe crashed onto the energy and Libby looked disappointed. "I'm going to teleport us home. I think we're close enough to Earth that I can get us there, or closer." I told her.

When we got home, I remembered that I hadn't told any of the Titans that Libby was here. I didn't know how to break the news to them that someone else was going to be living in the house, using the training equipment and fighting along with us. I entered the house quietly, because it was so late, but in the center of the room were four suspicious faces. "Where were you?" Robin asked in a demanding tone. "I was with my sister." I said sheepishly. My emotions were nervous and shameful. Libby's powers began to come out, and something red had Robin in a chokehold. Libby concentrated hard, and for the first time, Libby controlled her powers without controlling anyone else. The red stream that shot from her hand slowly drew back, and Libby's eyes lost their horrific colors. She swung the red around and it began to go into her again. Libby was still concentrating, controlling her powers, and she slowly lifted herself off the ground and sat with her legs crossed, levitating above the floor. "I did it." She said. I couldn't have been prouder. Even though I was bursting with happiness, the only thing that destroyed parts of the house was my powers, little black bursts around the house. Libby's powers stayed in her chakra, and you could see tiny faces of what I was sure were her powers screaming and looking devastated through the red-tinted glass.

Robin was angry, past the shock of Libby's choke now. "What happened to your face?" he screamed. Underneath his mask tears poked out and made their way down his cheeks. What was I supposed to say? '_I went to see my father, the one who tried to destroy Earth, the one who you thought I defeated but really just sent back home'_. The truth sounded ugly, so I lied. "We were training. I wanted to see if we could get to know her powers better." The lies were spinning around in my head, making me nervous. Libby's powers looked tempted and angry with me when I looked back at the jewel on her head. I mouthed sorry to them, and they looked like they forgave me. "You aren't acting like Raven." Beast Boy said. Something in my head had a sudden realization. _I'm not acting like me, I'm lying, I'm letting out emotions, I'm nothing like what Azar trained me to be._ For the first time, I wasn't what I was supposed to be. I wasn't an ice-queen. My sister had distracted me and now I was sloppy and uncontrolled. Libby put her voice in my head again, the thing I most hated about her powers. '_Isn't this the real Raven?'_ I shot a glance at her.

Her powers confused me. They were her thoughts invading the only personal space I had left, my mind. She could read my emotions and put them out there for the world to see. She could read my mind and see everything even I didn't want to face. I looked back at her. Her powers, now, uncontrolled, and uncensored, were nothing like mine. My powers made me an introvert. Her powers made her like a Mean Girl, ready to embarrass anyone with the slightest ease. I looked at Libby's eyes again. They were filled with sorrow and hurt, begging for forgiveness. Libby didn't want to do this; she had proved that by stopping her powers in front of my friends.

**Libby can be trusted.**


	4. I Am An Everything Bagel Hear me Roar

Libby

Libby was fast asleep on the couch, so I got a good look at her for the first time in years. I wasn't hiding, or spying, or staring, or trying to protect someone I thought I knew just because of things she said to people who weren't me. For the first time I was looking at someone I loved. She had forehead wrinkles and frown lines, signs of stress. The bags under her eyes looked unnatural, like they were painted on. Her skin was almost white, but with the smallest hint of color in them. Her hair was so black that you could get lost looking at it. Her lips were a dark maroon. Libby looked all together scary. If anything, she was more of a demon than me. Libby was wearing the same baggy clothes she murdered someone in, lost control in, and ran away in. She was a murderer who left corpses and trails of blood behind. She was a hero who slept in filth and rotted and stunk of her loved one's blood. If anything, she was more of a hero than me.

Libby's too long sweatshirt sleeves rapped around her tiny fingers. It was then that I realized my fourteen-year-old sister was small, short, and child like. Her jeans looked like a guy's pants, with big heavy cargo pockets and chains sticking out of them with keys attached. None of them were labeled, but they were all different. I had never seen anyone with smaller feet than Libby. She had tiny little ankle socks on that were white, and the arches of her feet were so big and dramatic that she reminded me of a tiny Arella. I was startled when a strand of her hair fell in front of one of her eyes because she moved so little when she breathed. Small chunks of gum kept the strand of hair together, and it looked deliberately put in. It seemed like something a kid would do, stick gum in her own hair and come back for it later. Something, I realized suddenly, that a little sister who'd never been taught by someone who really was family would do.

When she slept her pinky finger, the one with the tiny silver ring, played with the tiny silver crucifix necklace that hung around her neck. I also realized that the pinky finger was the most bitten of all her fingers, with just a tiny bit of jagged and rough nail sticking out at the very beginning of her distal phalanges. Her fingers looked soft and kind of sweaty. I wondered if she was having a bad dream, or was nervous. She sighed in her sleep, and thrashed about angrily. I'd never been a big sister, I'd never been a real friend, but my brand-new instincts told me to get her some water, pajamas, and wake her up before her nightmare got worse. _Raven the half demon wouldn't do that_ I told myself. _But Rachel Roth, the maybe-even-more-than-half human would. _I smiled and rushed off and did the one thing that I never thought I'd willingly do- I comforted someone.

I wasn't the tallest girl in the world, but when I gave Libby my smallest pair of pajamas, she looked like a midget in Michael Jordan's jim-jams. Libby rubbed her eyes and drank the water down. _Toothpaste. Toothbrush. Sweatshirt. Jeans. Pajamas. Tee shirt. Sneakers. Book. Hairbrush._ All the things that a normal teenager, even abnormal teenager, really, needed, Libby didn't have. "Rae." She called me by that stupid name, that name that wasn't mine, and I frowned. "Thanks." She said in that tone that shouldn't be used on a demon, or any introvert. "Your welcome." I managed to stutter before nearly vomiting. But that new voice in my head, the new face in my mirror smiled and made me hug her. This new, ½ human, ¼ demon, ¼ I have someone to care about and protect, and I love this new feeling, voice inside my head, had taken over and made me into someone that _didn't even think sarcasm was funny._ Half and Half Raven, now locked in a cage in the back of my head somewhere, was disgusted.

**Libby is the Light in My Life.**


	5. Malls and Messengers

A long chapter… because you asked for it

**A long chapter… because** **you asked for it**

She is new she is fresh, she is old and tired and depressed, she is everything that has changed me, but makes me want to change back, she brings joy to my life that makes me want to scream out in pain. She contradicts every breath that I take, like smoke in my lungs. Thinking about her makes me unable to think. She is pure evil, she is an angel, she is the one thing that drives me to the point of no return and makes me want to come back. She is the light in her own darkness.

I pulled myself into a ball and let out a cry. The lamp exploded. Sparks flew and landed, their short, dull, planned life. I cried out again, into the darkness that I'd never known before my only true friend had entered my life. I was transforming. All of the control, all of the effort that I'd ever put into anything in my life was demolished immediately. I was the knock-me-down bottles at the carnival of life. I was the start me up cool me down push me around girl of the century. I was never like anyone else, and now here I am, a step closer to society. If loving anyone or anything, even just family, means hating yourself and every inch of what you are becoming, but loving the drama of it all, I don't know if I can go on caring.

My neck ached, my hands trembled, and in the dark I could see nothing. I was a lost child, a lost cause, nothing to believe in. _Why do they believe in me if I can't even believe in my self?_ My confidence was at an all time high when I was around her, but the second she was gone I was a wreck. In my mind I heard for the first time all the idiotic things that had come out of my mouth talking. I wanted to die. I wanted to cry. I wanted to take them all back and never talk again. But I kept talking, and I kept living my same mistakes again. My everything-bagel of life was just one nervous breakdown away from blowing up the town.

It was late at night and early in the morning. I shook all of my tears away from my face and brushed them off into the darkness with my sleeves. I rubbed my nose and closed my eyes. They felt glued together. My cheeks were filled with rushing blood as I blushed, embarrassed to be crying all alone when I had never allowed myself to feel at all. I remembered the love stories, the change, but it is not romance that changes you, it is when your world is spinning and the only thing left to hold onto is trust. Whether you believe in someone or not, you have to trust them. They are your anchor, your life support, your game of life or death, and you pray for them to be there for you. I keep on worrying if Libby is going to be there for me.

There was a knock at the door, and ashamed, I pulled my head under the covers. I pretended to be sleeping, when I saw a little green ant crawling under the door. I closed my eyes and faked a snore. "Raven, I'm not stupid." Beast Boy said. "Really? I'd never noticed. Was your intelligence on leave, then?" I replied, hoping he'd go away. "Everyone can hear you crying, you know. We all heard the lamp break too." He muttered. "That's great, but a girl needs her sleep." I stuttered and turned away, falling onto my bed and pretending to close my eyes and yawn. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens I will always be there for you."

I thought I was dreaming. I wished it were real. I wouldn't let myself smile. I would get my powers under control; I would keep my sister, my friends, my 'family' safe. It sounded cheesy, but I would make sure that everything was as normal as it could be when you're a half demon living with an alien, green-changeling, obsessive compulsive hero, and your look-a-like sister. It seems stupid now, crying because I was loved, but sometimes, and on very few occasions, I felt like Beast Boy knew just what to say.

I pulled myself out of bed, my baggy sweats dragging on the floor as I went to the kitchen. I made myself a cup of tea and made my way into the living room. I smiled inside at the sight of my heavily snoring sister, and Beast Boy, playing possibly the loudest video game ever. I picked up the other controller. "You don't owe it to me, you know." Beast Boy sighed. "I know. I owe it to me." I can't quite describe how I said that, almost happily, but still monotone. More like a happy-sounding depressed person. Does that make sense?

This whole day had been so confusing. Regretting whatever I said before had made me cry. Now I realized that the things I didn't say, didn't ever do, should have been making me cry before my sister came. Even cheesier sounding- I knew that the Titans were the closest things I'd ever have to family- even closer than my own sister. They'd saved the entire world with me, they'd saved my life and I'd saved there's more times than I could count. Maybe that's what family is, a little dramatized I'd say, but saving each other's butt, no matter how big or small, no matter the price you'd have to pay.

Libby woke up after I won because she was nearly soaking in Beast Boy's tears. It was around 8 o'clock, so I figured now was the perfect time to do the unspeakable… go to the mall. We headed out, Libby still in my pajamas; after we realized that she didn't have any clothes that didn't have spots of blood on them. I would've lent her something, but the whole, I'm five sizes bigger than her, wear almost all black, and wear the same weird spandex outfit everyday, kind of put her off to that idea.

Star came too, don't ask me why I let her. I could've sworn my sister had bags under her eyes before we came to the mall, but Star immediately gave her a makeover. My sister is now a walking Barbie doll in pajamas. Libby got the basics, the very expensive basics, because apparently I got things free because I was a superhero. Abusing my privileges? If I didn't, Libby would be abusing my very small bank account. No one wishes that on her money (except for Mother Theresa, of course…)

Libby looked like a queen. She had a business-like button down shirt (That was really soft, actually fit her, and didn't have any blood on it, go figure), slightly baggy jeans (Star wanted her to get the tight ones, but I told her that if we bought those Robin would be checking my sister out; She immediately took the tight ones back and bought one size too big) and a pair of white flip-flops. "Is this all I get?" I shook my head. She probably needed at least seven tee shirts, a pair of shorts, a skirt, pajamas, and a Titans Uniform. We went around to all the different stores; she bought everything she needed, of course, except for the uniform.

"Where do we buy that?" she asked. I shrugged, as this was my normal, everyday clothing from Azerath. Star decided she'd make it. I didn't trust her with a pair of scissors and my sister's measurements, but by the time she was done, it was beautiful. The boots were high-heeled, and went up mid-shin. They were black leather, but didn't make her look like she was asking for attention. There was a pair of black (non-leather) shorts, and a black (non-leather) jacket with half sleeves over a white shirt. There was a pair of black leather gloves, and a black marching band hat. It was perfect. Then I looked again, and there was a price tag. "Fall Collection 2008. 970"_Oh Brother. She's still a Barbie._

The car ride home was a bore, for me at least. I had to meditate because the two of them in the front were goofing off and singing happily to the radio and if I joined in I'd surely A) look like a goof and B) explode a poor and innocent toaster. I suddenly felt bad for my sister, who had probably been fighting her powers all day because of Star's ever-happy wrath. I could see Libby focusing her powers on other things like blades of grass, which would be surrounded by blood-red dust and then multiplied. When Libby's powers were meant to do happy things, they went all out- on blades of grass.

When we got home, Libby made an effort to shove Cy off of the couch. She wanted to sleep, and obviously, Star had dragged Libby around to one too many stores while I finished my lunch and read magazines in the food court. Her arms looked sore, too, because Star could only carry so many bags, and unlike her, Libby didn't have superhuman strength. Libby passed out after much effort to get him off of the couch, but then I had a better idea. I used my powers to carry her into the guest bedroom. I unloaded all of her clothes and put them into the dresser drawers. I hung her many copies of the uniform into her closet, and put her shoes at the bottom. I left dinner for her (cold Chinese food, the only other option to pizza or vegetarian cooking) and left the room, satisfied with my unpacking skills.

I was meditating when the alarm rang for the first time with Libby as a Titan. She jumped up, ready to go, in her uniform. Luckily for her she didn't have to change anyone's emotions because of Star's everlasting happiness, so she could just levitate there. When we got to the bank, it was burnt to the ground. No one was alive but a single man standing in the middle. Half of his face was burnt, and he held a coin in his hand. "Two-Face." Robin muttered, looking scared. "I flipped the coin Robin. It told me to burn your little city down, one building at a time." Libby must have felt people's scared emotions targeted at Two-Face, because a long, red, sword appeared in her hands. She whipped it at him, and it flew into his knee. "Ah. My knee!" He screamed. Everyone snickered.

We hadn't saved anyone in the building, the police told us, because there was no one in there to save in the first place. The bank had been closed down for years, and he must have been just trying to scare us, or Robin. Libby put her head in her hands.

**He was just a messenger. **


End file.
